The New Worst Idea Ever

As gas prices topple $3 a gallon, people all over the country seem to be waking up to what has been supremely apparent to me over the last seven years: President Bush is a puppet to the oil and auto industry! Like, duh!

So the Republican congress thought they could buy off the American public like they do with their spoiled brat children and say, "Here's a hundred dollars! Go buy yourself an iPod." (Meanwhile, the only iPod you can get for less than $300 is the Shuffle. But, anyway...) Thankfully, that idiotic plan is dying and will forever be remembered as The New Worst Idea Ever (copyright pending).

What needs to happen is this: the public, the states, and the legislative branch of our great country need to take this fight to Bush. We should prosecute him for crimes against the environment. Because the actions and inactions the President perpeterated over the last seven years (by not signing Kyoto, by ignoring scientific claims, by not over-taxing Hummers) has done irreversible damage to the environment. We've passed Go. We will not collect two hundred dollars.

In the future, when everyone has to wear gas masks to run between their cars and their glass houses, you can find me easily by looking for the one with the bumper-stick-like sign on the back: "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Kerry."